As I write this, I’m listening to Christmas jazz in my office, surrounded by half-wrapped gifts for our kids and a few decorations that didn’t make the cut this year. Behind me, the view my clients see when we meet online is a serene ocean scene strung with twinkly snowflake lights. Just a real person over here, doing real-person stuff!
But this year, something is different: I don’t feel the holiday pressure I used to. And let me tell you—it’s glorious. Don’t get me wrong, I’m human, and there will still be moments of overwhelm or tension. But after years of feeling crushed by holiday expectations, I’ve found ways to stress less. So today, I want to share a slice of that with you.
Speaking of slices, let’s talk pie. Imagine I’m handing you a piece of your favorite—apple, pumpkin, cherry, pecan. Go ahead, grab a cup of tea, hot chocolate, or coffee, and let’s settle in to talk about holiday stress.
We’re also inviting my friend Hannah. There are a couple of things to know about Hannah: she gets really stressed this time of year. She puts a lot of pressure on herself to make everything perfect for her family, friends, and coworkers. She overcommits, ends up tired and cranky, but at heart, she’s sweet, caring, and down-to-earth. Sound familiar?
Now, imagine the pie represents different areas of life where we feel strained or drained. Each slice is a category: emotional, physical, social, spiritual, financial, occupational, intellectual, and environmental. Some needs are obvious—like hunger when we skip a meal. Others lurk beneath the surface, harder to pinpoint but still impactful.
Let me share a moment from Hannah’s story that might resonate with you:
“I was running around prepping for a Secret Santa exchange I volunteered for because no one else stepped up [social pressure]. I skipped breakfast [physical need], thinking I’d grab something on the go, but everything was more expensive than I expected [financial stress]. By the time I got home, I felt depleted [emotional strain] and foggy [intellectual drain], but my house was still a mess [environmental stressor].
What I really wanted was to read holiday books with my kids [social connection] and spend time outdoors, grounding myself in nature [spiritual need]. But after the way my morning went, I had no energy left. I kept thinking, ‘If only I’d slowed down earlier in the day.’ I’m glad I’m here now, though, sharing a slice of pie with you. I’ll take apple, with a heap of self-compassion, and a side of easing into the season!”
Does anything in Hannah’s story sound familiar? Maybe hindsight gives you clarity about where things went sideways. While we can’t rewrite Hannah’s day, we can learn from her.
Here’s the key takeaway: when one slice of our pie is neglected, the whole pie is affected. For Hannah, skipping breakfast set off a domino effect that impacted her entire day. Eating breakfast wouldn’t have guaranteed a perfect day, but it could have given her more energy to handle everything else.
So, how can we reduce holiday stress and avoid the snowball effect? Here are three simple steps:
- Check in with Yourself Regularly:
Take a moment to assess your “pie.” Which slices feel drained? What small action could refill them? - Prioritize Your Needs:
Like Hannah, we often sacrifice our needs to meet external demands. Practice saying “no” or setting boundaries to protect your energy. - Add Moments of Joy:
Whether it’s reading a book, walking outside, or sipping your favorite drink, prioritize activities that replenish you.
This season, remember: your well-being matters. When you care for yourself, you’re better able to care for others. Here’s to a holiday season with more ease, joy, and—of course—pie!
If you’d like a little extra guidance, our Dimensions of Wellness Guide is available to help you reflect and find harmony among all areas of your life.
