Understanding Self-Care and Self-Compassion
I was recently asked to share my thoughts on the difference between self-care and self-compassion. In my professional career supporting parents through adjustments such as pregnancy, postpartum, early parenthood and concurrent professional development, self-care is often a hard sell. I’ve heard everything from “it would be selfish to do self-care” to “a bubble bath and a chocolate bar only go so far.” One of these is false, and one is true. In this blog post, I hope to share some insights about what self-care is and isn’t, how it differs from but relates to self-compassion in a crucial way, and how nature can be a guide in learning and practicing both self-care and self-compassion.
Defining Self-Care
Self-Care is taking action (or declining an action) to care for yourself. There are several domains of self-care, including but not limited to physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. From small, pick-me-ups to in depth boundary setting, self-care has something to offer each of us at various phases:
- Taking a bath or having a chocolate bar can be considered self-care, but these actions aren’t meant to wipe clean the slate of built-up overwhelm that many burnt-out parents feel.
- If that bubble bath and chocolate bar don’t “do it” for you, there’s nothing wrong with you.
- What’s more likely to offer longer-term results are the types of self-care that involve setting boundaries around your needs.
- Saying “no” when you’re at your capacity to take on additional responsibilities can lead to decreased overwhelm more efficiently than a quick fix.
- This strategy does require continuous effort to be self-aware and to set and maintain appropriate boundaries, but it’s a worthwhile endeavor to keep things in balance.
The Role of Self-Compassion
As Kristin Neff, a leading expert in self-compassion, explains, “Self-compassion involves being kind to ourselves when life goes awry or we notice something about ourselves we don’t like.” Whereas self-care is taking action to care for yourself, Self-Compassion is the mindful acknowledgment that you are inherently deserving of that nurturing care. It means you don’t have to accomplish anything (oh, hey there, to-do list) in order to be worthy. Self-compassion is, in part, what allows us to engage in self-care at each of the various phases discussed above. The components of self-compassion can be symbolically represented by the elements of nature: Earth, Water, Wind, and Fire.
- Earth (Self-Compassion Itself): Self-compassion can be associated with the element of Earth because it provides a solid and stable foundation for self-nurturing and emotional support.
- Water (Mindfulness): Mindfulness can be linked to the element of Water because it involves a fluid awareness of your own needs and emotions, allowing them to flow without resistance.
- Wind (Common Humanity): Common Humanity can be associated with the element of Wind, as it embodies the idea of interconnectedness, much like the way the wind connects everything by way of movement of the air.
- Fire (Self-Kindness): Self-Kindness can be linked to the element of Fire because it represents the warmth and inner light that you shine upon yourself when treating yourself with care and understanding.
By understanding the distinction between self-care and self-compassion and embracing both, you can better nurture your well-being while choosing practices that align with your unique needs and the facets of your life. Nature offers us tangible ways of understanding and practicing self-care and self-compassion. I invite you to further explore your own self-care and self-compassion practices. Here at Guided in Nature LLC, we are thrilled to be able to share self-compassion through the lens of evidence-based nature informed therapy. For support on your journey to self-compassion, please visit our Events page for upcoming workshops and other offerings.
