Time is a common topic among parents. Ironically, we spend a lot of it…on talking about it! No judgments here, just observations. Here are a few common ones that I hear when wearing both my personal and professional “hats”:
- There’s the ever-popular “time is a thief” often in reference to how quickly our children grow. That one especially comes up during milestone occasions or reflections of past versions of our children. You know, the cute, smushy ones.
- Then there’s the “the days are long but the years are short” reference to how slow the challenging phases or day-to-day parenting tasks can seem (hello, dinner-time-duels), and yet, the years seem to pass by at lightning speed.
- There’s advice from parents with older children, “enjoy this time, it goes fast!” A nostalgic nod to the younger years when (with hindsight as their superpower) they can look back and see those early years with renewed perspective. And, they miss it. They might also forget the dinner time duels and toothbrushing tantrums, more apt to remember the snuggles and giggles.
These are the ones more directed toward our experiences of our children, but what about us parents? How do we make time for ourselves, no matter what?
One of my favorite quotes (written in my high school yearbook) is: “The bad news is time flies, the good news is you’re the pilot” (Michael Altshuler). That quote sums up the most important aspect of time as a construct. Time is going to pass. What we do in that time is what counts…
In my e-guide “Hopping off the Hamster Wheel,” I talk about the “chase” that we (humans; parents) often find ourselves wound up in: the chase for rest, relief, or reward. The belief that “there” will feel so much better than “here.” It’s what keeps us spinning and lends to the perception of time as a thief. It’s the being in a future scenario (mentally) instead of being here, now.
Now, let’s delve into the heart of the matter – how do we, as parents, make time for ourselves in the midst of this whirlwind of responsibilities?
1. Embrace Micro-Moments: Recognize that self-care doesn’t always require grand gestures or hours of uninterrupted time. Embrace micro-moments throughout your day. It could be as simple as savoring your morning coffee in silence before the household stirs or stealing a few moments for deep breaths during a hectic afternoon.
2. Delegate and Share Responsibilities: Parenting is a team effort. Share responsibilities with your partner or other family members. Create a system where tasks are distributed, lessening the burden on one person. Delegating doesn’t mean relinquishing control; it’s a strategic move to ensure everyone contributes to maintaining a harmonious home.
3. Prioritize and Simplify: Reevaluate your to-do list. Are all tasks equally important, or can some be simplified or postponed? Prioritize what truly matters and let go of the rest. Simplifying your daily routine can free up precious minutes that can be redirected toward self-care.
4. Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries between your parental and personal roles. When you’re with your children, be fully present. Likewise, when it’s time for self-care, create boundaries to protect that time. Communicate these boundaries with your family, fostering an environment where everyone’s needs are respected.
5. Create a Self-Care Ritual: Develop a self-care ritual that seamlessly fits into your routine. It could be a brief meditation session before bed, a rejuvenating walk during lunch, or dedicating a weekend morning to a hobby you love. Consistency is key – make it a non-negotiable part of your schedule.
6. Schedule “Me” Time: Just as you schedule doctor appointments or playdates, schedule dedicated “me” time. Treat it with the same level of importance. This could be an evening out, a solo movie night at home, or even a quiet reading session in your favorite nook.
7. Embrace Imperfection: Release the notion of perfection in parenting and time management. Understand that some days may be chaotic, and self-care might be limited to a few stolen moments. Embracing imperfection allows for flexibility and reduces unnecessary stress.
Remember, making time for yourself isn’t selfish – it’s an investment in your well-being, which ultimately benefits your entire family. By prioritizing self-care, you become a more present, patient, and fulfilled parent. As Michael Altshuler wisely said, “The good news is you’re the pilot” – steer your time towards a balance that nurtures both your role as a parent and your individual identity.
If you could benefit from more support in crafting a plan to make time for yourself, check out our upcoming events and stay tuned for future offerings just for you!
